On Best Friends

I'm telling you, it's awesome to have a best friend backing you up when you're in a situation like I am. I've been in positions before where I've felt like I had absolutely no support, nobody to turn to, and it's no picnic. When you've got the most amazing best friend in the world, though, nothing is too tough.

You guys have already read about "Dwight". Now, I am introducing you to "Aishwarya", the only other human being in my personal circle that has any idea about my current set of circumstances. I have given her a pseudonym, although she has given me permission to publish her photo here (this is the two of us last week, the day before my birthday, at a local community college theatre production).

Aishwarya has been my best friend since junior high school, when she moved to California from Bangladesh. We have been through some unbelievably tough times together, and she has endured a lot of personal B.S. throughout her young life, yet come out the other side stronger for it, and beautiful as ever. Despite her own incredibly busy and full life, Aishwarya has consistently found time to be there for me during all of this craziness. She is the kindest, most giving, biggest-hearted person I've ever met. Just wanted to give acknowledgement. She is heading off in June for about 6 months (job-related training) and I will miss her terribly.

As you can see, my face is still blotted out by the omnipresent green circle, haha. However, my face may soon enough be a matter of somewhat public record, even if my name/exact location shall not - a certain well-known homeless activist recently did a video interview with me *hides face in hands* so I suppose anyone interested enough may see me on camera soon. Blegh. I hate the way I look on film. Just so you know, they're not kidding when they say the camera adds 10 or 20 lbs. If you watch said interview, don't say I didn't warn you. :`(

I'm also going to be doing another interview tomorrow (this time by telephone) with a very kind and seemingly awesome-sauce journalist writing an article on the mobile homeless for the Daily Beast. How weird do I feel right now? I swear, I never thought the words "I'm going to be doing an interview" would come out of my mouth (fingers?) unless it was in the context of job-searching. Anyway, happy to do what I can to help put the issue out there.

Still... so very, very weird.

Yay!!! I have two blog "followers"!!!!! I have no idea what exactly this means, but woohoo.

Quickie: New Article Up on Homeless Tales

New article I wrote for Street Voices was posted on HomelessTales.com yesterday. Seems to have sparked a little bit of debate, which is good :)

Bad Choices vs. Just Plain Rotten Luck

In Which ~B~ Finds Herself Alone In A Parking Lot

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.

* * * * *

My fellow mobile homeless have all taken their RVs and fled... not sure why; Wal-Mart/police haven't bothered us since talking to the manager; at least not to my knowledge - and no notes or tickets have appeared on my windshield. I knew P. was leaving for Lake Elsinore in the next couple of days - he found a campground out there and it's much closer to his 13-year-old daughter. But the rest, I fear, left because they thought they might be towed :`( This is so sad to me - there are so few suitable alternatives out there; if these people couldn't afford a campground and had to stay in a parking lot, where else will they be able to stay?

In any case, I am the sole trailer left in the parking lot (although there are still a few homeless left, all in cars/vans). I feel very naked, vulnerable, and stand-out-ish without a sea of trailers to blend into. Hopefully a few more will show up soon. I need cover. Plus, I got the opportunity to meet several of them over the last few days, and they were super awesome people. One was even a former dentist who spoke four languages!!!


* * * * *


Through newfound work connections (that's right, 2 days in - I waste absolutely no time), I seem to have possibly sorta maybe found someone who can get me financed for the house. He pointed out loopholes - as a first time homebuyer, I only need to come up with 3.5% down payment, and apparently there's some FHA program where I am allowed to ask for a seller's contribution of 6% of the sales price to pay all of the down payment and some or all of the closing costs. He also seems to think that the credit/debt won't be too much of a problem; thinks he can help me repair it in 35-60 days, especially now that I have a job. Downside of this is that I would have to schedule closing for at least 75 days out (leaving a buffer for any unexpected delays), but since the house is a short sale anyways, it's likely to take at least that long, if not longer (could even be 6 months), so that doesn't really make a difference. Please, please cross your fingers for me!!!

My bestest of the best friend, "Aishwarya" (she declined to pick her own pseudonym, so I named her after the most beautiful Bollywood star out there!) has a Human Services degree and is a certified grant writer. She is now the second personal acquaintance to be let in on my current situation. We went and had pina coladas on Monday to celebrate my new job, and just generally shot the breeze. Somehow, we stumbled upon the idea of having her write up a grant proposal to have the government give me some money to restore the house and use some of the rooms to accommodate 2-4 homeless women and children at a time, sort of a halfway house type thing (the home is pretty ginormous, like bed and breakfast big).

We'll see. I hope I hope I hope.

Playing Catch Up

The last couple of days have been insane and I'd really just like to relax, so here's a catch-up recap:

Two nights ago, came home to notice taped to the window of my trailer threatening to "evict" me: "WAL-MART DOES NOT ALLOW OVERNIGHT PARKING!!!!! MOVE OR YOU WILL BE TOWED!!!!!"

Well, um, actually... yes, they do allow overnight parking. In fact, I called in advance and spoke to a manger, making sure of it.

Turns out some newer moron did some really stupid things, such as running his noisy generator around 1 a.m., littering all around his trailer (we're talking paper trash, bottles, even socks!), and unhooking his trailer from his vehicle and leaving it in the parking lot while driving around in his truck, thereby technically "abandoning" a vehicle. Not only did he do all of this, but he did it while Wal-Mart corporate was visiting the store, and they took notice.

Long story short, five or six RVs fled that night in search of greener pastures, with no idea where to go. A few others and I stuck around, and two of us (myself and P., the "mayor" of the Wal-Mart parking lot, who has lived there for 4 months and counting) went into Wal-Mart in the morning to speak to the manager. We showered and put on business suits before going in.

The manager lady was nice (although she had to point out that we didn't "look" homeless. Well, duh. That's kind of the point). She said that corporate had visited the night before and that when they visit, they always send someone out to post those flyers on the long-term residents' RVs (although they leave the homeless living out of cars and vans alone, which is lucky for them).

P. showed the lady all of the Wal-Mart receipts he had accrued, demonstrating just how much business Wal-Mart gets from allowing him to stay. I explained that we were quiet and kept to ourselves, never littered, etc. I also told her that I have a full-time job and am not a "bum", I just need a place to park while I transition out of this, and had called ahead to make sure that would be OK.

She told us that we seemed nice and respectful, and recommended we just stay in the parking lot. She said that the store managers would not call the police on us or have us towed - they don't want to have to pay to tow giant RVs out, plus, they really have no problem with us being there as long as we don't draw attention to ourselves. Really, it was just the corporate office's beef, and they've left already. She said that if someone filed a complaint with the police, or the police came by of their own accord to speak to us, they would only ask us to move, not ticket or tow us. She said that if that happened, she would recommend moving to another Wal-Mart a few cities over, or to Sam's Club, for a night or two. Then we could come back.

So, we have stayed, and no problems so far, for the past couple of days. I feel really bad for the people that they scared out of there with those mean flyers, though. Where will they go? Sadly, the Lord of the Generator was not one of the ones that left, you'd think he could take a hint. P. went over to his truck and tore him a new one, and there has been no late-night generator running since, although there is still litter around his trailer. What a slob. The parking lot is FULL of trash cans. I swear, it only takes one inconsiderate moron to ruin it for the rest of us.


* * * * *


First day of work today, and I think it went pretty well! I love the people that I'm working with, they seem very fun-loving and laid-back. The job itself is busy, but not particularly difficult, or at least I've been able to pick up everything quickly so far. The company works with about 500 mortgage lenders, so I may be able to find financing for my house through them, despite weak-ish credit due to about $10K in debt (incurred when I turned 18 - not great, but it could be a lot worse, right?) Two of the marketing girls actually recommended me to one lender, so here's hoping!!!

I used to drive by "my" house (my best girlfriend calls it my castle; it's this giant Victorian fixer-upper with a big, gnarly chery-blossom tree in the front yard, and at night it looks like the Haunted Mansion) every couple of days to remind myself of what I was working towards, but I stopped doing it about a week and a half ago, because for a while it just seemed like there was no way it would ever happen and it was too painful - I started to fear that maybe I'd drive by one day and see a "SOLD!" sign on there, and break down and cry, knowing that I had missed my chance forever. However, it looks like there may still be a ray of hope left, so maybe I'll drive by again and give myself a perk-up.

Goals are important. If I can get the ball rolling on this house, I don't even care if it takes the full 6 months to purchase (short sale, they can take quite a while). I'll live in the trailer for 6 months, cheerfully waking up at 5 a.m. every day to drive to the gym and shower, so that I can head off to work and never tip off my coworkers that I'm living in a parking lot. I'll do it all with a smile on my face and never complain once, I swear, if it means that I can have my house (P.S. God, take note of the preceding. I know I don't particularly believe in you, but I swear I'll at least make the effort to, if you help this happen for me!) ;~P

I'm HIRED!!!!!!!!!

Fantastically and completely unexpectedly, I have (as of today) joined the working homeless. My interview today panned out great and they hired me on the spot - I start Wednesday!!!

The company does internet marketing and search engine optimization, with a focus on clients who are mortgage lenders. I interviewed with the CEO and his Lead Developer. I got great vibes on the company, the people, work environment, and the general atmosphere of the place. After interviewing, I expected to at least have to wait a couple of days to find out (I was feeling pretty confident, but these days you never know) - but they asked me if I could start immediately! They said that they don't usually make a job offer right off the bat like that, but I seemed like the perfect fit for the company and their culture, and they saw no reason to see anyone else before making the decision!

Wow. Just... wow. I've never been so flabbergasted (or flattered) in my entire life. 8 MONTHS of searching and dead ends and sending out applications into cyberspace that may as well have been dead air because no one ever even called, and then... boom!

The position is really a catch-all, which is great because I will be able to build up my strength in all aspects of a business. It's a 31% cut in pay for me from my last position, but who cares - I'm being paid what the market will bear for my skills at this precise moment in time, and it's a HUGE increase over making nothing! The CEO made sure to mention to me that as the company grows, I will be offered pay raises and bonuses often, as he would really like to get me back up to my usual pay scale. It seems like they really try to take care of their employees there - I met the other workers, and they seemed cheerful and content with work and life in general, so how nice is that? What a change from the last guy who interviewed me last week. My official title is Executive Assistant, but the position will cover everything from Office Management to Human Resources to Payroll to Article Editor... There are 5 employees in the business, as well as a few freelance workers they've outsourced (company is growing and expanding, so adding some more) and I will be overseeing them all! How insane is all of this!? I'm terrified and thrilled, what a challenge!

Of course, I have to go to extra lengths to make sure that they never find out that I'm homeless, for however long that may be, but I'm pretty positive I can pull it off. As long as I arrive on time, work hard, and always appear polished and tidy, I don't foresee any major problems with it. I've tried to draw up an estimate of how long it will take me to get myself out of this and into a house. As near as I can tell, I should probably expect about 4-6 months, if all goes well and I budget very tightly, save as much as possible from each and every paycheck, and avoid emergencies and/or complications. I will, of course, still be updating tGGtH daily; new posts will probably arrive in the evenings, though, rather than mornings/afternoons as I have been doing.

Oh, my god. I'm exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It's still all sinking in.

Thank you guys for your support, I don't know that I'd have felt or projected nearly as much confidence if I didn't feel like I had an invisible band of cyber-homeless-activists cheering me on as a support network. Unbelievable.

Shameless plug: don't forget to send in your letters to Colbert and Jon Stewart, kids! Homeless Tales links to just about every major (and about a jillion minor) homeless activist/volunteer/shelter out there, in all areas of the world. If Homeless Tales gets a boost, we all get a boost, and the issue gets some major face time on TV in front of millions of viewers - I'm willing to bet more of the younger generation get their news from "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" than from actual newspapers or news networks. And, the younger generation is the one that's going to take over and inherit the earth next, so earning their awareness is a pretty big deal. :)

Media Spotlight - Calling All Readers to Unite!

Hi all,

If you read this blog, I'm sure you're aware of HomelessTales.com, as it is by far the main referrer to my site (I'm a guest writer for Street Voices). Matt Barnes, the creator of Homeless Tales, knows just about every activist for homelessness out there, works tirelessly to debunk myths/stereotypes, and personally reaches out to the homeless, no matter what part of the world they live in. I'm very new to this homeless thing, but participating in Street Voices and discovering a whole new world of people to talk to - an entire new moral support system that I didn't realize existed - has been eye-opening and made my (thus far) short period of homelessness indescribably more bearable.

I quasi-seriously joked with Matt that we should get him on The Colbert Report, that would really put the issue on the map. Then, after thinking on it for about two seconds, I decided to do it. I'm impulsive like that. Besides, I think he has a lot to say on the issue, and a very articulate voice with which to say it (far more than, say, mine - which is kind of random and scattershot, not very focused or experienced at all).

So, yesterday I wrote to The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, requesting Matt Barnes as a guest on the respective shows. Below is a sample of my letters (I have chosen Stephen Colbert's; Jon Stewart's is the exact same letter, except with his name substituted for Colbert's, and vice versa). I tried to inject a little humor into the letter, as these are, ultimately, comedians:


Requested "Colbert Report" Guest - Matthew Barnes of HomelessTales.com

Stephen T. Colbert c/o Renata Luczak Colbertnation.com 345 Hudson Street New York, NY 10014 Dear Mr. Colbert, How does one go about requesting for a cause to be featured on The Colbert Report? I am a (formerly employed, now laid-off, educated, graduate of the Bush administration-created economy) 24-year-old homeless woman writing from my local Starbucks in Orange County, CA (yes, I know, a homeless woman with a laptop! Even better, I live quasi-illegally in a Wal-Mart parking lot. With my dog. I wish I could say I were kidding). I have attached a recent photo of myself - as I'm sure you can tell, I make every effort to buck the undeserved "dirty bum" stereotype.

I would like to suggest Matthew Barnes, the founder of HomelessTales.com, as a guest on your show. Formerly homeless himself; he spends the vast majority of his time debunking popular myths and stereotypes about homelessness, and offering help to those in need as best he can on limited funding. Matt heads a project called "Street Voices" that is an exercise in self-inclusion for the participant writers (of whom I am one). Street Voices gives faces, names, and personalities to those with the stigma of having no home; and there are many of us in these dreary economic times. Each writer offers a different perspective on the issue of homelessness in general; as well as their own personal circumstances.

I have never formally met Matt, but we have corresponded via e-mail; as he makes an effort to personally help each and every reader who expresses an interest in his site, as well as any homeless individual in need. I truly believe that there is no one more worthy of the "Colbert Bump". Only a few days ago, Andrew Malcolm of the L.A. Times wrote a short but highly offensive article which was meant to be about Michelle Obama volunteering at a soup kitchen; but which turned into a national debate regarding the validity of a homeless man possessing something as useful (and essential to reversal of his circumstances) as a cell phone. This is a perfect time to focus upon the issue, which is growing nationally by the day. Homelessness has never been limited to mentally ill and drug addicts, as is commonly supposed; now more than ever there is a sharp increase in the percentage of homeless individuals desperately seeking work across the globe.

Please, Mr. Colbert, think of how embarassing it would be if Jon Stewart of the Daily Show got wind of this and snapped up Matt Barnes as a guest before you did - would you ever live down the shame and regret, knowing you could have gotten to him first? (By the way, I'm no dummy - I wrote the exact same letter to Jon Stewart. And now, I will step back and allow the cat-fight to commence!)

Matthew Barnes can be contacted at: mdbarnes@hotmail.co.uk. Please feel free to contact me if I can offer you any further information. I remain your devoted viewer (online - I don't have TV access at the moment!)

Regards,

B* * * * * K* * * *
Wal-Mart Store #* * * *
East Parking Lot
2*** E********,
****, CA 9****
(714) ***-****
b***k***@gmail.com
http://girlsguidetohomelessness.blogspot.com


So, I sent that off into cyberspace, feeling like it was a long shot, but hey, you never know, right? However, this morning, I received an e-mail from Steve Albani, the Vice President of Comedy Central in charge of the Daily Show. He thanked me for my e-mail and let me know that he had forwarded it on to Jon! I made sure to e-mail him back a quick line thanking him for his time and wishing him a fantastic week.

I don't know how many of you have seen The Shawshank Redemption, but this is the part where we bombard them with letters until they give us what we want :) I would like to ask each and every reader to spend 5 minutes and send in an e-mail requesting Matt as a guest on "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show". It doesn't have to be a long or explanatory e-mail like mine, a few lines will be sufficient, although if you would like to put in a short bit about yourself and your background, put a face/personality to the name, that may also be a good idea. But really, I just want to make them aware that there is a demand and an audience for this issue. Here is the contact info:

renata.luczak@comedycentral.com
Stephen T. Colbert
c/o Renata Luczak
Colbertnation.com
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014

steve.albani@comedycentral.com
Jon Stewart
c/o Steve Albani
The Daily Show
Comedy Central Press Offices
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014

Please remember to title your e-mails: Requested ["Colbert Report" or "Daily Show"] Guest - Matthew Barnes of HomelessTales.com for uniformity purposes (it clearly identifies the purpose of the e-mail, and a mass amount of e-mails with the same title will be difficult to ignore).

Please also remember to address your e-mails to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert directly, care of (c/o) the respective contacts listed above.

Thanks to everyone for your support, let's see if we can make this happen and put homelessness even further out there!

~B~

P.S. I just want to say that when I check the stats for this site, I'm astounded - I have readers in as remote locations as Pakistan, Slovakia, Peru, Japan, Germany, Sweden, Turkey, India, Czech Republic, U.K., Canada, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, Netherlands, Poland, Germany... This is overwhelming to me. Tons of love to each and every one of my readers, both national and international. I am so grateful for the network of moral support!

Free Phone Service and Revenge

In connection with yesterday's post, I would like to provide links to these two programs that offer free phone service for the impoverished and homeless:

SafeLink Wireless provides free cell phones and airtime to income-qualified individuals. Basically, if you make under about $14K/year, you qualify. It does say that you need a valid address to ship the phone to (no P.O. boxes accepted), but there's an easy way around this. I offer up this tip lifted from Survival Guide to Homelessness: "Get a mailbox at a UPS store or similar establishment, and use that as your home address. Don't get a post office box. PO Boxes are dead giveaways, but a commercial mailbox has a street address. The address will read 1234 Anystreet, PMB123. PMB stands for private mailbox. When you give your address substitute a pound sign (#), or Apt. Never write PMB. This will not affect delivery of mail".

The other program is Community Voice Mail, which can be used by anyone and everyone who needs it (no income limits apply). It can be used from any touch-tone phone, including pay phones, for free. If you have an e-mail address, you can also be notified via e-mail when you have received a message.

Some kind of phone access is almost essential for those homeless and trying to find work. If you do not have or cannot afford a phone, make use of these tools!

* * * * *

On the topic of revenge: It's not always a completely savory concept, but sometimes it's necessary.

First off, I should say that in my Wal-Mart parking lot, there are several other long-term homeless individuals living out of RVs, trailers, and cars. I haven't yet had the opportunity to interact with any of these people, as they all keep to themselves. Everything is kept very quiet and clean; I rarely, if ever, see anyone come and go. There is no littering, no noise, no nothing. It is almost eerily quiet around there, as if there is an implicit, unspoken agreement that none of us will attract attention to ourselves, and therefore, ruin the setup for everyone else. We all know that it only takes one complaint from a shopper or city resident to the police, and we may be asked to move. The majority of us have long outstayed Wal-Mart's "one or two nights" policy, and managed to blend - when it comes down to it, one trailer/car looks pretty much like another, right? However, it is a precarious situation at best, so everyone is incredibly clean and polite, so as not to give any cause for complaint.

There are these two little punks who seem to think that it's funny to drive their truck to the edge of the parking lot every night, around midnight or 1:00 a.m., and keep the homeless awake by blasting music as loud as it will go - we're not talking regular loud music here, we're talking subwoofers, the whole bit, until you can feel the vibrations in your bones.

They usually stay for about 20-30 minutes, and then drive off, laughing. Of course, no one ever does or says anything. It's not like you can open your window and shout "get out of here, you rotten kids! People are trying to sleep!" Everyone is conditioned to be absolutely quiet and still, ride it out, and let them pass. Don't draw more attention to ourselves. It's pretty jarring being woken up every night, but I suppose it's one of those things you learn to deal with when you're widely considered the scum-suckers on the bottom of the society tank.

Well, last night, I made a late-night run to the Circle K on the other side of the shopping center parking lot. And who do you suppose were there, filling up their gas tank? I made a big show out of sauntering over and writing down their license plates. They started getting belligerent, asking me what I was doing.

I told them I was the janitor for Wal-Mart (does Wal-Mart even have a janitor?!) and I wanted to know whom to file the noise complaint against with the police. I looked them in the eye, put on my steeliest dominatrix tone, and challenged them, "Go ahead, blast your music again. I dare you". I don't think they knew what to say. I walked away and went about my business at Circle K.

All was quiet last night. I don't think they'll bug us again. If they do, I have their license plate number. Rotten little punks.

Huzzah, I have struck a blow and claimed a (minor) victory in defense of my homeless brethren! *dances*