Playing Catch Up

The last couple of days have been insane and I'd really just like to relax, so here's a catch-up recap:

Two nights ago, came home to notice taped to the window of my trailer threatening to "evict" me: "WAL-MART DOES NOT ALLOW OVERNIGHT PARKING!!!!! MOVE OR YOU WILL BE TOWED!!!!!"

Well, um, actually... yes, they do allow overnight parking. In fact, I called in advance and spoke to a manger, making sure of it.

Turns out some newer moron did some really stupid things, such as running his noisy generator around 1 a.m., littering all around his trailer (we're talking paper trash, bottles, even socks!), and unhooking his trailer from his vehicle and leaving it in the parking lot while driving around in his truck, thereby technically "abandoning" a vehicle. Not only did he do all of this, but he did it while Wal-Mart corporate was visiting the store, and they took notice.

Long story short, five or six RVs fled that night in search of greener pastures, with no idea where to go. A few others and I stuck around, and two of us (myself and P., the "mayor" of the Wal-Mart parking lot, who has lived there for 4 months and counting) went into Wal-Mart in the morning to speak to the manager. We showered and put on business suits before going in.

The manager lady was nice (although she had to point out that we didn't "look" homeless. Well, duh. That's kind of the point). She said that corporate had visited the night before and that when they visit, they always send someone out to post those flyers on the long-term residents' RVs (although they leave the homeless living out of cars and vans alone, which is lucky for them).

P. showed the lady all of the Wal-Mart receipts he had accrued, demonstrating just how much business Wal-Mart gets from allowing him to stay. I explained that we were quiet and kept to ourselves, never littered, etc. I also told her that I have a full-time job and am not a "bum", I just need a place to park while I transition out of this, and had called ahead to make sure that would be OK.

She told us that we seemed nice and respectful, and recommended we just stay in the parking lot. She said that the store managers would not call the police on us or have us towed - they don't want to have to pay to tow giant RVs out, plus, they really have no problem with us being there as long as we don't draw attention to ourselves. Really, it was just the corporate office's beef, and they've left already. She said that if someone filed a complaint with the police, or the police came by of their own accord to speak to us, they would only ask us to move, not ticket or tow us. She said that if that happened, she would recommend moving to another Wal-Mart a few cities over, or to Sam's Club, for a night or two. Then we could come back.

So, we have stayed, and no problems so far, for the past couple of days. I feel really bad for the people that they scared out of there with those mean flyers, though. Where will they go? Sadly, the Lord of the Generator was not one of the ones that left, you'd think he could take a hint. P. went over to his truck and tore him a new one, and there has been no late-night generator running since, although there is still litter around his trailer. What a slob. The parking lot is FULL of trash cans. I swear, it only takes one inconsiderate moron to ruin it for the rest of us.


* * * * *


First day of work today, and I think it went pretty well! I love the people that I'm working with, they seem very fun-loving and laid-back. The job itself is busy, but not particularly difficult, or at least I've been able to pick up everything quickly so far. The company works with about 500 mortgage lenders, so I may be able to find financing for my house through them, despite weak-ish credit due to about $10K in debt (incurred when I turned 18 - not great, but it could be a lot worse, right?) Two of the marketing girls actually recommended me to one lender, so here's hoping!!!

I used to drive by "my" house (my best girlfriend calls it my castle; it's this giant Victorian fixer-upper with a big, gnarly chery-blossom tree in the front yard, and at night it looks like the Haunted Mansion) every couple of days to remind myself of what I was working towards, but I stopped doing it about a week and a half ago, because for a while it just seemed like there was no way it would ever happen and it was too painful - I started to fear that maybe I'd drive by one day and see a "SOLD!" sign on there, and break down and cry, knowing that I had missed my chance forever. However, it looks like there may still be a ray of hope left, so maybe I'll drive by again and give myself a perk-up.

Goals are important. If I can get the ball rolling on this house, I don't even care if it takes the full 6 months to purchase (short sale, they can take quite a while). I'll live in the trailer for 6 months, cheerfully waking up at 5 a.m. every day to drive to the gym and shower, so that I can head off to work and never tip off my coworkers that I'm living in a parking lot. I'll do it all with a smile on my face and never complain once, I swear, if it means that I can have my house (P.S. God, take note of the preceding. I know I don't particularly believe in you, but I swear I'll at least make the effort to, if you help this happen for me!) ;~P

I'm HIRED!!!!!!!!!

Fantastically and completely unexpectedly, I have (as of today) joined the working homeless. My interview today panned out great and they hired me on the spot - I start Wednesday!!!

The company does internet marketing and search engine optimization, with a focus on clients who are mortgage lenders. I interviewed with the CEO and his Lead Developer. I got great vibes on the company, the people, work environment, and the general atmosphere of the place. After interviewing, I expected to at least have to wait a couple of days to find out (I was feeling pretty confident, but these days you never know) - but they asked me if I could start immediately! They said that they don't usually make a job offer right off the bat like that, but I seemed like the perfect fit for the company and their culture, and they saw no reason to see anyone else before making the decision!

Wow. Just... wow. I've never been so flabbergasted (or flattered) in my entire life. 8 MONTHS of searching and dead ends and sending out applications into cyberspace that may as well have been dead air because no one ever even called, and then... boom!

The position is really a catch-all, which is great because I will be able to build up my strength in all aspects of a business. It's a 31% cut in pay for me from my last position, but who cares - I'm being paid what the market will bear for my skills at this precise moment in time, and it's a HUGE increase over making nothing! The CEO made sure to mention to me that as the company grows, I will be offered pay raises and bonuses often, as he would really like to get me back up to my usual pay scale. It seems like they really try to take care of their employees there - I met the other workers, and they seemed cheerful and content with work and life in general, so how nice is that? What a change from the last guy who interviewed me last week. My official title is Executive Assistant, but the position will cover everything from Office Management to Human Resources to Payroll to Article Editor... There are 5 employees in the business, as well as a few freelance workers they've outsourced (company is growing and expanding, so adding some more) and I will be overseeing them all! How insane is all of this!? I'm terrified and thrilled, what a challenge!

Of course, I have to go to extra lengths to make sure that they never find out that I'm homeless, for however long that may be, but I'm pretty positive I can pull it off. As long as I arrive on time, work hard, and always appear polished and tidy, I don't foresee any major problems with it. I've tried to draw up an estimate of how long it will take me to get myself out of this and into a house. As near as I can tell, I should probably expect about 4-6 months, if all goes well and I budget very tightly, save as much as possible from each and every paycheck, and avoid emergencies and/or complications. I will, of course, still be updating tGGtH daily; new posts will probably arrive in the evenings, though, rather than mornings/afternoons as I have been doing.

Oh, my god. I'm exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It's still all sinking in.

Thank you guys for your support, I don't know that I'd have felt or projected nearly as much confidence if I didn't feel like I had an invisible band of cyber-homeless-activists cheering me on as a support network. Unbelievable.

Shameless plug: don't forget to send in your letters to Colbert and Jon Stewart, kids! Homeless Tales links to just about every major (and about a jillion minor) homeless activist/volunteer/shelter out there, in all areas of the world. If Homeless Tales gets a boost, we all get a boost, and the issue gets some major face time on TV in front of millions of viewers - I'm willing to bet more of the younger generation get their news from "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" than from actual newspapers or news networks. And, the younger generation is the one that's going to take over and inherit the earth next, so earning their awareness is a pretty big deal. :)

Media Spotlight - Calling All Readers to Unite!

Hi all,

If you read this blog, I'm sure you're aware of HomelessTales.com, as it is by far the main referrer to my site (I'm a guest writer for Street Voices). Matt Barnes, the creator of Homeless Tales, knows just about every activist for homelessness out there, works tirelessly to debunk myths/stereotypes, and personally reaches out to the homeless, no matter what part of the world they live in. I'm very new to this homeless thing, but participating in Street Voices and discovering a whole new world of people to talk to - an entire new moral support system that I didn't realize existed - has been eye-opening and made my (thus far) short period of homelessness indescribably more bearable.

I quasi-seriously joked with Matt that we should get him on The Colbert Report, that would really put the issue on the map. Then, after thinking on it for about two seconds, I decided to do it. I'm impulsive like that. Besides, I think he has a lot to say on the issue, and a very articulate voice with which to say it (far more than, say, mine - which is kind of random and scattershot, not very focused or experienced at all).

So, yesterday I wrote to The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, requesting Matt Barnes as a guest on the respective shows. Below is a sample of my letters (I have chosen Stephen Colbert's; Jon Stewart's is the exact same letter, except with his name substituted for Colbert's, and vice versa). I tried to inject a little humor into the letter, as these are, ultimately, comedians:


Requested "Colbert Report" Guest - Matthew Barnes of HomelessTales.com

Stephen T. Colbert c/o Renata Luczak Colbertnation.com 345 Hudson Street New York, NY 10014 Dear Mr. Colbert, How does one go about requesting for a cause to be featured on The Colbert Report? I am a (formerly employed, now laid-off, educated, graduate of the Bush administration-created economy) 24-year-old homeless woman writing from my local Starbucks in Orange County, CA (yes, I know, a homeless woman with a laptop! Even better, I live quasi-illegally in a Wal-Mart parking lot. With my dog. I wish I could say I were kidding). I have attached a recent photo of myself - as I'm sure you can tell, I make every effort to buck the undeserved "dirty bum" stereotype.

I would like to suggest Matthew Barnes, the founder of HomelessTales.com, as a guest on your show. Formerly homeless himself; he spends the vast majority of his time debunking popular myths and stereotypes about homelessness, and offering help to those in need as best he can on limited funding. Matt heads a project called "Street Voices" that is an exercise in self-inclusion for the participant writers (of whom I am one). Street Voices gives faces, names, and personalities to those with the stigma of having no home; and there are many of us in these dreary economic times. Each writer offers a different perspective on the issue of homelessness in general; as well as their own personal circumstances.

I have never formally met Matt, but we have corresponded via e-mail; as he makes an effort to personally help each and every reader who expresses an interest in his site, as well as any homeless individual in need. I truly believe that there is no one more worthy of the "Colbert Bump". Only a few days ago, Andrew Malcolm of the L.A. Times wrote a short but highly offensive article which was meant to be about Michelle Obama volunteering at a soup kitchen; but which turned into a national debate regarding the validity of a homeless man possessing something as useful (and essential to reversal of his circumstances) as a cell phone. This is a perfect time to focus upon the issue, which is growing nationally by the day. Homelessness has never been limited to mentally ill and drug addicts, as is commonly supposed; now more than ever there is a sharp increase in the percentage of homeless individuals desperately seeking work across the globe.

Please, Mr. Colbert, think of how embarassing it would be if Jon Stewart of the Daily Show got wind of this and snapped up Matt Barnes as a guest before you did - would you ever live down the shame and regret, knowing you could have gotten to him first? (By the way, I'm no dummy - I wrote the exact same letter to Jon Stewart. And now, I will step back and allow the cat-fight to commence!)

Matthew Barnes can be contacted at: mdbarnes@hotmail.co.uk. Please feel free to contact me if I can offer you any further information. I remain your devoted viewer (online - I don't have TV access at the moment!)

Regards,

B* * * * * K* * * *
Wal-Mart Store #* * * *
East Parking Lot
2*** E********,
****, CA 9****
(714) ***-****
b***k***@gmail.com
http://girlsguidetohomelessness.blogspot.com


So, I sent that off into cyberspace, feeling like it was a long shot, but hey, you never know, right? However, this morning, I received an e-mail from Steve Albani, the Vice President of Comedy Central in charge of the Daily Show. He thanked me for my e-mail and let me know that he had forwarded it on to Jon! I made sure to e-mail him back a quick line thanking him for his time and wishing him a fantastic week.

I don't know how many of you have seen The Shawshank Redemption, but this is the part where we bombard them with letters until they give us what we want :) I would like to ask each and every reader to spend 5 minutes and send in an e-mail requesting Matt as a guest on "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show". It doesn't have to be a long or explanatory e-mail like mine, a few lines will be sufficient, although if you would like to put in a short bit about yourself and your background, put a face/personality to the name, that may also be a good idea. But really, I just want to make them aware that there is a demand and an audience for this issue. Here is the contact info:

renata.luczak@comedycentral.com
Stephen T. Colbert
c/o Renata Luczak
Colbertnation.com
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014

steve.albani@comedycentral.com
Jon Stewart
c/o Steve Albani
The Daily Show
Comedy Central Press Offices
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014

Please remember to title your e-mails: Requested ["Colbert Report" or "Daily Show"] Guest - Matthew Barnes of HomelessTales.com for uniformity purposes (it clearly identifies the purpose of the e-mail, and a mass amount of e-mails with the same title will be difficult to ignore).

Please also remember to address your e-mails to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert directly, care of (c/o) the respective contacts listed above.

Thanks to everyone for your support, let's see if we can make this happen and put homelessness even further out there!

~B~

P.S. I just want to say that when I check the stats for this site, I'm astounded - I have readers in as remote locations as Pakistan, Slovakia, Peru, Japan, Germany, Sweden, Turkey, India, Czech Republic, U.K., Canada, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, Netherlands, Poland, Germany... This is overwhelming to me. Tons of love to each and every one of my readers, both national and international. I am so grateful for the network of moral support!

Free Phone Service and Revenge

In connection with yesterday's post, I would like to provide links to these two programs that offer free phone service for the impoverished and homeless:

SafeLink Wireless provides free cell phones and airtime to income-qualified individuals. Basically, if you make under about $14K/year, you qualify. It does say that you need a valid address to ship the phone to (no P.O. boxes accepted), but there's an easy way around this. I offer up this tip lifted from Survival Guide to Homelessness: "Get a mailbox at a UPS store or similar establishment, and use that as your home address. Don't get a post office box. PO Boxes are dead giveaways, but a commercial mailbox has a street address. The address will read 1234 Anystreet, PMB123. PMB stands for private mailbox. When you give your address substitute a pound sign (#), or Apt. Never write PMB. This will not affect delivery of mail".

The other program is Community Voice Mail, which can be used by anyone and everyone who needs it (no income limits apply). It can be used from any touch-tone phone, including pay phones, for free. If you have an e-mail address, you can also be notified via e-mail when you have received a message.

Some kind of phone access is almost essential for those homeless and trying to find work. If you do not have or cannot afford a phone, make use of these tools!

* * * * *

On the topic of revenge: It's not always a completely savory concept, but sometimes it's necessary.

First off, I should say that in my Wal-Mart parking lot, there are several other long-term homeless individuals living out of RVs, trailers, and cars. I haven't yet had the opportunity to interact with any of these people, as they all keep to themselves. Everything is kept very quiet and clean; I rarely, if ever, see anyone come and go. There is no littering, no noise, no nothing. It is almost eerily quiet around there, as if there is an implicit, unspoken agreement that none of us will attract attention to ourselves, and therefore, ruin the setup for everyone else. We all know that it only takes one complaint from a shopper or city resident to the police, and we may be asked to move. The majority of us have long outstayed Wal-Mart's "one or two nights" policy, and managed to blend - when it comes down to it, one trailer/car looks pretty much like another, right? However, it is a precarious situation at best, so everyone is incredibly clean and polite, so as not to give any cause for complaint.

There are these two little punks who seem to think that it's funny to drive their truck to the edge of the parking lot every night, around midnight or 1:00 a.m., and keep the homeless awake by blasting music as loud as it will go - we're not talking regular loud music here, we're talking subwoofers, the whole bit, until you can feel the vibrations in your bones.

They usually stay for about 20-30 minutes, and then drive off, laughing. Of course, no one ever does or says anything. It's not like you can open your window and shout "get out of here, you rotten kids! People are trying to sleep!" Everyone is conditioned to be absolutely quiet and still, ride it out, and let them pass. Don't draw more attention to ourselves. It's pretty jarring being woken up every night, but I suppose it's one of those things you learn to deal with when you're widely considered the scum-suckers on the bottom of the society tank.

Well, last night, I made a late-night run to the Circle K on the other side of the shopping center parking lot. And who do you suppose were there, filling up their gas tank? I made a big show out of sauntering over and writing down their license plates. They started getting belligerent, asking me what I was doing.

I told them I was the janitor for Wal-Mart (does Wal-Mart even have a janitor?!) and I wanted to know whom to file the noise complaint against with the police. I looked them in the eye, put on my steeliest dominatrix tone, and challenged them, "Go ahead, blast your music again. I dare you". I don't think they knew what to say. I walked away and went about my business at Circle K.

All was quiet last night. I don't think they'll bug us again. If they do, I have their license plate number. Rotten little punks.

Huzzah, I have struck a blow and claimed a (minor) victory in defense of my homeless brethren! *dances*

Quickie: L.A. Times Writer Andrew Malcolm Clearly Quite Uninformed

This article makes my blood boil. You may wonder why, since it seems pretty straightforward until you read the last 3 lines:

Michelle Obama serves food to D.C. poor and homeless, but...

What a jerk. I want to know, Mr. Malcolm - exactly what is so "bothersome" about a homeless man scraping up some resources for himself, resources which are clearly quite useful as a means to get himself back on his feet? A cell phone costs far less than an apartment. Or perhaps this is even a resource which he had prior to becoming homeless - did you ever consider the possibility that he is a casualty of the hot economic mess that Bush landed us in? What exactly is he supposed to do, sell off any and all useful possessions upon losing his home, so that he can fit into your definition of poverty?

Would you like him better if he was dirtier, hungrier, perhaps mumbling to himself or pushing a shopping cart down the street full of random odds and ends?

How dare he own a cell phone, the better with which to receive job offers, or to dial 9-1-1 should he be endangered?!

*shakes head*

Some of the reader comments on the story infuriate me just as much - one reader even stated that the phone must be stolen! Unbelievable.

Disney Recap and Rant Against Supreme Court

Like I said, even the homeless can go out and have fun for free or on the über-cheap. I refuse to let my non-housed status, or any traumatic experience, define me. Disneyland was a nice change of pace for my birthday yesterday. I went on Space Mountain (my favorite!), Pirates of the Caribbean (of course!), the Haunted Mansion, Indiana Jones (my other favorite!) and... Splash Mountain.

I concede that the decision to ride Splash Mountain last, at nighttime, in the cold (followed by ice cream!!!!!), was probably one of my less stellar brainpower moments, and possibly even conclusive evidence of legal insanity.

Soaking wet and shivering, I decided that it was probably time to head back to the trailer for a warm change of clothes. After careful consideration, I have chosen to post a photo of my journey down Splash Mountain, as my face is so contorted (even beyond it's usual grotesqueness, haha!) that I doubt anyone would recognize me anyway :) Sorry for the poor quality:

Still not sure which one is me? Well, in the sea of happy, shiny people, I'm the one whose face is about 82% tonsils:

Still, a fun day. Thanks to Dwight for going with me, and for the Jack Skellington plushie - just what I wanted for my birthday! Something completely impractical, frivolous, and squishy!!! :)

As you can see, Jack is now riding around swinging from my purse:

Huzzah! Anyway, on a more serious note, I want to step off of the homeless topic for just a moment and express how disgusted I am with the California Supreme Court. As of yesterday, it would seem that they are leaning towards allowing Prop 8 to stand (thereby banning gay marriages), although they will not void the 18,000 same-sex marriages performed last year, thereby allowing them to keep their legally married status. By the way, these are the exact same justices that legalized gay marriage last year, prompting the hasty passage of Prop 8 by California voters (by an incredibly tiny margin, I might add!)

So which one is it, Supreme Court? Some gay people get rights where others don't? There's going to be a two-tiered system in California for gay marriage?! Honestly, I can't believe this whole mess. Gay marriage is a civil rights issue, in fact the civil rights issue of our time, it should never have been left up to the people to vote for or against at all. If women's and black civil rights issues had been left up to popular vote, who knows how much longer it would have taken for them to be granted fully equal legal status, or even if it would have happened at all?

I don't care what your religion is. Religious objections should never have been brought into it, and yet, the Bible is all I hear quoted from pro-Prop-8ers. Separation of church and state, people. If your religion doesn't want to recognize or perform gay marriages, nobody is forcing them to. By the same token, it is absolutely unconstitutional to force your religious beliefs upon others who do not happen to agree. Homosexual individuals are harming absolutely nobody. They just want to exist, be who they are, and claim the same set of rights that the rest of us are granted (legal marriage confers over 1,100 more rights than a civil union)! More power to them. They aren't trying to "turn" you gay, or impose their "gayness" upon you, they just want to live and let live. Hell, I personally have a moral objection to abortion - I think if I ever had one, I would find it difficult or impossible to forgive myself. Do I have the right to foist this belief upon others, deny them their legal right to choice? No. It is their legal and moral right to choose, according to their personal beliefs. I believe abortion is wrong, so I simply prevent unwanted pregnancy. Don't like gay marriage? Don't marry a gay person. Freedom of religon is a two-way street. You want protection for your personal Christian beliefs? Then you have to accept that the rest of the nation is protected as well, in that nobody is going to force them to accept your religion, or any religion at all, if they so choose. If your God is really so all-powerful and he has an objection, I'm sure that he will deal with it himself, in his own due time. So leave it up to him and stop interjecting religion into politics.

Look, I have a friend who is gay and in a long-term relationship, who has been counting the days until he can finally marry his partner. One of my little sisters is a lesbian. How could I invite them to my own wedding, walk down the aisle in their line of sight, taking full advantage of the rights I was granted and they were denied, simply because they were born with a different gene than I was? How can I look them in the face?

You make me sick, California Supreme Court.

Happy Birthday To Me.

Well, I'm 24 today. Just one more year until my quarter-century crisis. Eh, maybe I can have it a year early. I'm not one to stand on ceremony.

Heading to Disneyland this afternoon. They have this new policy where you get free admission on your birthday.

Later, I'd like to look into posting a blog about free/dirt-cheap entertainment options that are out there. Besides the daily worries, I occasionally have trouble with the mind-numbing boredom; although I am surrounded by a trailer full of books, sometimes you just need a change of scenery and pace. I think putting some fun into the experience is important, homeless individuals are just as deserving as anyone else to enjoy life a little.

My two best friends took me to the local college's production of "Guys and Dolls" last night, so that was a bit of a distraction from life. Musical theatre. Escapism at its finest. Nothing like a mob of sexy, sweaty, singing men doing arabesques in zoot suits to take your mind off your troubles :)

By the way, suddenly I seem to have all of these readers sending me encouraging comments on Twitter. Thanks so much to you guys for your support! If you write on similar topics (homelessness, unemployment, etc.), know that I am reading each and every one of your blogs, and linking to them under my "Related Content" section! It's great to have people out there to reach out to.